Sacred

There’s a part of me that needs it to be sacred…
That needs one pair of eyes to stare into night after night.
That craves only one set of hands touching me.
Something that prevents me from taking my own impulsive nature too seriously…

I’ll be the first to admit I get bored…. quickly…
It takes immense color and light to captivate me.
I desire adventure, and most folks get tired when I’m just getting started…
I am erratic and spontaneous, emotional, flirtatious and completely unpredictable…
I crave variety and believe life is one big theater…
So, I enjoy playing many parts…

and still…
with the way I enjoy the taboo…
unrestricted possibilities…
and the exploration of the senses.

I find beauty in the discipline of devotion.

It’s somewhat uncomfortable… self revealing… insightful…
to stare at your reflection in the same eyes day after day…
there’s no running away…
no pretending…
there’s only a silent unfolding…
a budding…
a vivid nakedness that becomes startlingly clear…
as I love you takes the place of good byes and my dears…

I enjoy the static cling…
the magnetic push…
that two beings create…
the moments…
the laughter…
the memories…
the shelter…
the art…
the taste…
the sound…
the momentum…

the momentum that is built…
that’s what’s sacred for me…

I love how when you think you know Love it evolves…
she doesn’t like strawberry jam anymore… she prefers jelly these days…
the magic is in the simple things…
like finding a new pair of her underwear in the laundry…
I enjoy the familiar fragrance that fills the air after shes washed her hair…
I enjoy getting to know her…
year after year
because shes always
changing,
growing,
evolving.
I enjoy getting to know the countless women that live inside of her eyes…

just one pair of eyes…
to look into…
night after day…
day after night…
I need to build momentum…
so we can blast off..
create a light show in the dark.

I need it to be sacred.

Dear LovHer

I carry her with me…
Like a great idea on my mind…
A beautiful sonnet in my heart…
I daydream of her often…
Allowing imaginings to color my reality…
She occupies my visions…
I enjoy spending time painting her into my dreams…

I get excited each time my phone rings and I see her name flash on the screen…

She is my magic carpet ride…
Unreasonably beautiful… Divinely intuitive…
I tell her about myself in REM messages…
She inspires me to get creative with my intention…

I just want to lay in her hair…
Read books to her while she daydreams of my skin…
Play the no, baby, no… Right here? Right now? mmm yes you can have it any time game…
Be the instrument through which my element sings…
Be my discipline and my foolishness…
My honor and my deepest secret…
She ignites sparks of akashic records…
Incites future blueprints…

I just want to play in her hair…
Rock to sleep in her arms…
Wake up to her scent…
I want to know that when she says 1 spoon of honey she means 2 in her tea…

So, I carry her with me…
Like a great idea on my mind…
A passion in my heart…
I daydream of her often…

Deep Amber Burn

I have darkened into a deep amber burn
I silent quaking of my foundation has been gaining intensity
and my propensity for optimism is fading

with sporadic bursts of joy…
and a calcifying heart…

in this moment
I understand
how easy it is to become bitter

it feels more empowering
to be consumed by the rage
that almost instinctively follows the feeling of vulnerability
a sensitivity that demands protection
when words spoken
slash through
tender branches of ones reaching Hope…

I have stared into the light of our sun
and into the darkness of our matter
and I am
still no closer

each tear that forms to drown out the fire that begins to build in me
carries the weight of my u-n-i-verse

I have darkened into a deep amber burn…
consuming an indigo abyss…
i burn to keep from drowning
in my waters

I May Be…

I may be just another event on your calender…

another party to lose yourself in….

I may be…

just another text on your IPhone…

but to me… you are everything… 

everything…

everything…

I now know… that for you…

forever lives and dies in a day…

but for me…. forever swallows time….

i agree that we can not continue…

I agree that we just dont seem to cover the basics…

I agree that I have to face it…

ideals are not reality…

ideals are not reality….

and a dream is sometimes but a dream…

You have told me that you can’t help it…

You have said things that u were unsure of…

I have stood by you while you work through your own dementia…

but ive gotten lost in this crazy daze…

You agree… you have no idea of what you want…

You agree its not fair to brake a broken heart…

you agree yet you just cant help yourself…

here you are once again Loving me…

I may be… just as beautiful as any other girl…

but I’m the only one like me…

I may be… just as smart as those other girls…

but im the only one that can make you feel this deep…

I may be just a flower in seasonal bloom… to you…

but for me I am always in season…

*lyrics spill over*

Déjà Vu

dont bother with me anymore

ive gone to a place where you cannot reach

Leave me be

alone

in this world

for even in each others arms there is a nagging lonliness

each clash diminishes my self-awareness

and leaves me

alone

in this world

But then soon I see her there

that girl in the mirror

who only appears when I’m alone

She is the voices in my mind

the feelings in my heart

my perspectives

my intuition

my conscious

& my consciousness

she is all of these

the vast vast darkness

that is my personal universe

She is what I AM

I AM what I see in her

in my many reflections

So leave me be

I’m taking much

time

to get to know me

for even in each others arms there is a nagging lonliness

and I cannot keep a cold heart warm

it is my heart that is now shivering

so leave me be in this place

where i dont think about

the math

you and I created

formulas

not yet finished

i return to simple math

just one

“uno es el numero magico” – Jill Scott

Moments of Clarity

I just had a moment of clarity…

I use to talk to everyone & anyone… as the seasons have worn on me, I’ve become jaded. I have become more… I hate to say it: judgmental. I am not as open as I use to be at all… I’m guarded… more of a bitch then I ever thought I’d have to be… and they say that being a bitch is strong… but I don’t feel very strong… I feel like I’m wearing a thick coat of armor and its rather annoying and heavy… I tire easily from wearing this armor to protect myself… I’m realizing more and more that even if I get hurt, frustrated or come across seemingly insurmountable odds… IT’S OKAY! This too shall pass… It can even be more then okay if I work really hard on my perspective and keep peaceful and graceful… I’d like to reengage that aspect of myself…

Imaginations is everything- Albert Einstein
I will fill my days with imagining my intentions for a beautiful, experimental and Loving Life…

….hope you do too…

Dark Matter

I use to date this girl…

I only saw her at night…

“cause at night the stars’ shine the brightest”

I would meet her on a busy NYC street…

it was always so easy to find her…

she had a glow…

its not easy to stand out in NY but she…

always did without wanting to.

i would take her into dark clubs

where she would drink music and we would dance as if calling for rain….

leaving a trail of light behind us like the comets we were…

people were drawn to us like moths to a flame…

she would touch me and sparks would fly…

I melted into her and we created phenomena

bursting into light

“cause at night the stars’ shine the brightest”

I use to date this girl…

who introduced me to tantra…

her hair spiraled out of her scalp in dark midnight mystery

surrounding her shoulders illuminating her

heart.

Her lips full & sweet as peaches dipped in honey…

I use to date this girl…

who was the color of the sun…

and who always reminded me

“Even when it’s dark you can find where my light is, cause at night the stars’ shine the brightest”

*warm smile*

inspired by: indigoesblu

Maybe

I start to write a line just to erase it all…

maybe I should write in circles…

maybe I should start from the right instead of the left.

where do I begin…

what do I say…

what am I feeling?!

can you SEE me?!

I know you can feel me…

we pretend to not understand.

we play every game in an effort not to take it seriously

its been said to me I take things too seriously…

maybe I do, in an effort not to play any games…

my heart sends out a prayer every beat…

whispering questions…

chanting desires…

the stillness that accompanies this is profoundly overwhelming…

its in the silence that demands to be heard…

If you were here… what would you say to me?

If you were here what would I feel from you?

the flight or fight seems to be our favorite answer to our fears

for now I’ll fly because I’m too weak to fight…

while the universe shows me new tools to use.

What is meant to be for me will be…

maybe we just weren’t ready

like the other three times we met…

maybe we were just meant to shake each other up and remind each other of who we are…

maybe…

…… to be continued…..

Conscious Evolution or Programmed Advancement

“ppl are completely programmed, living lies, spending more time attention seeking and faking. we are in the age of knowing so if you’re not enhancing awareness of self and right knowledge it really doesn’t matter what you do. they are very much caught up in a surreal world leaving their true selves under-developed, lacking purpose/direction.”- Akinfe Fatou

I read this comment to a post today and it really moved me to write. more on this topic..

The more we are connected to this internet & these online communities the more disconnected we become from this life & this Earth & its communities. We have known for too long that the more technologically advanced we become the less our human evolution advances & yet still we party, connect, post, upload, upgrade, & network instead of meditating, nourishing, focusing, Loving & elevating consciousness…

It has been brought to my awareness that the media is pushing a robotic agenda and I touched on this in my last blog. I have heard it being called “the dehumanization of humans and the humanization of robots.”

I have something to say:

I will not allow my evolution to be robotic… I AM hueman. I will not potray myself as a super powered robot but rather as a super powered Shaman. Id rather wear war paint then bullet proof armor… Id rather train for years then get implanted with a chip, to be stronger,better, faster. Id rather be tattooed to look like an ancient then a cartoon… I choose to walk aligned with the Earth and not with my inventions. The universe exists right here in our oceans and Earth… The Mayans could understand the movement of stars and the evolution of the universe better then modern day advanced scientist and scholars and so I will proudly be called a “primitive savage” following in their footsteps. If our “primitive: indigenous ancestors could live in harmony with the planet with little destruction caused by them and still feel wealthy, beautiful, happy and “successful” then so can I. I believe they call it primitive living but we call it living simply! Only taking and having (not hoarding) what you need in order to be at peace with the land and other Earth communities is our respnsibility . It should be noted the few simple indigenous tribes still left have virtually no crime (rape, incest, murder) or psychological diseases. Furthermore, I dont understand why we need to go searching for water on other Planets when ours is covered with it… The truth is: if we have destroyed our planet and not learned to live in harmony with the ecosystems that have existed in harmony with each other for centuries… if we have exterminated entire species (animal & plant) and ecosystems in neglect and ignorance then what will we do on a “new” planet? will our superior technology “teach” us how to live in harmony? Will our technology destroy less things then it does now with the toxins they release. Will we create less garbage and toxins in general? Will another planet be able to sustain our terrorizing ways and destructive lifestyles.

I mean… we as humans have had a history of paying more attention to our technological advancements then our humanity… we have destroyed species and ecosystems just to advance our wealth and comfort. Will we ever learn that we need to focus on our evolution without external alterations in order to truly advance in a symbiotic relationship with this planet and all other life or any other planet and life forms? Other cultures have proven that this can be done. We see extraordinary feats of strength and endurance from martial artists… We have felt extraordinary compassion and belonging from those who have cultivated their spiritual awareness. We experience our most profound moments when in the darkness with only one other human… we call it making Love. In that moment of bliss/orgasm you are not thinking of your car, your house, your electronics, ur FB or twitter or tumbler of blogspot account… You have no yearning for a new dress, pair of kicks or dvd… all external things fall away and for a moment you experience the most profound sense of bliss and unity we can ever feel… is this not the ultimate teacher and truth? WE WILL NOT EVOLVE by continuing to use the methods we have been using!

And as we face more influences then ever in forms of media through out newspapers, radios, television, computers, ipads, iphones, cell phones, psps, ipods, mp3s, satelite radios, utube, etc., etc., etc., we must work harder then ever to nourish and protect our consciousness.

With all these technological advances we are also seeing amazing strides in organic farming and produce… and re-familiarization and general acceptance of natural medicine and practices such as yoga, meditation and we are seeing a more open attitude and greater compassion in general by humans all over the planet. And I say that because I want to make it clear that this blog should not scare anyone or anger anyone… I am not calling for a revolution but rather a holding on to out natural human evolution by developing our consciousness.  Today and everyday should be a testimony to our growth in consciousness and positive, “right” minded development of attitude and character. We should be living every moment as the gods and goddesses we pray to, meditate on or invoke. I have learned more and more as the days pass in my life that revolting against something is not necessarily growing towards something. So, I no longer wish to start a revolution… I wish to start a movement.I move towards conscious evolution.

*peace*

The Robotics: Trend or Future

This weekend I was introduced to a bunch of information about the music industry and celebrities pushing certain agendas visually and through their music, clothes, etc. I was aware of the influence that “the industry” (includes music, visual art, media and any entertainment and all celebrities) had but I wasn’t as conscious of how deep the agendas they push are and how it is mirrored in all genres.

Here is the facebook update that started this blog:

Ok so I’ve been noticing this robotic trend thats going on: artists & celebrities are all promoting themselves as getting “upgraded”; becoming “bigger, faster, stronger”; technologically evolving instead of humanly evolving. Ive been exposed to the minds of many who see a problem with the “dehumanization of humans and …the humanization of robots”. Its really an eerie thought & I wondered how you guys feel about this?

here are some of the responses:

Rebecca Andrea Bonner
I feel the same way as you!!! Like what is really up with this robot madness, people are getting clone, microsoft word wants to put chips in us so we could be traced, we aren’t even suppose to be having social security numbers, and the next thing you know its the mark of the beast! (666).. Celeberties are scared to lose their money, so they feel as… See More though they are above God, and sell their souls to the devil for money, riches, and ticket sales! Its all for the love of money wich is the root to all evil…!

Evelyn Dye-Garcia
It’s a very insidious thing… it slowly creeps into your life and you barely notice it… first you e-mail your friends instead of call them… then before you know it, you’ll be out with people and texting other people… it would be impossible for us to give up our cell phones and computers, but little by little, day by day, we ARE giving up our human connections… your observation is very astute.

Chan Ban
I’m going to take a wild stab and say they’re speaking in terms kids get. It’s sad, but nothing is spiritual anymore, just lucrative. Sad. Sad. Sad.

Free Bird
super pet peeve of mine … trying to have a fing conversation while so-n-so text someone/updates twitter/ etc etc.. its like.. I can be in the middle of something and you can totally see the person disengage from the convo for a sec!!! ARGH!

Anani Inaru
I’m writing a blog about this and I’d like to include your responses. is that ok with everyone?

Chan: I think its interesting that you said “terms kids will understand. a “kid” is defined as (1)a : a young goat b : a young individual of various animals related to the goat (2)a : the flesh, fur, or skin of a young goat .
Our children are not kids… See More, and I am very passionate about this because the goat is used to represent the devil and because most importantly THERE IS SO MUCH POWER/ENERGY IN A NAME!

so in a way you are right… they are using terms that the “kids” will be attracted too… they are using the images they want us to become comfortable and exposed to. we as a people are subliminally indoctrinated to whatever style, fad, information they want us to become comfortable with… and the more celebrities that do it the cooler it is… the more we all rave about it

Chan Ban
Lol ok how about “sheep” or “lambs”? Young adults are jacked into the web in so many ways these days. “New and Improved” just doesn’t sell like it used to =/

Free Bird
its ok with me! u are speakin mad truths right now sis.

Rebecca Andrea Bonner
dido!

Outofsight Outofmind
lmao… i try my best to stay away from this shit… im too human to really work a computer really.